meaning making
I wrote this story five days after my beloved partner of 23 years took his last breath. Erin was 57 and wanted to die at home, with his comforts and the loving presence of our 165-pound Great Dane, Osiris. We managed to pull off the death experience we planned, with the assistance of our death doula and… Continue reading Kaua’i Kayak Redemption
And did you get whatyou wanted from this life, even so?I did.And what did you want?To call myself beloved, to feel myselfbeloved on the earth. ~ “Late Fragment” by Raymond Carver This scene from "Secret Invasion" introduce me to this poem. https://youtube.com/watch?v=QRw0xz_rlvk&si=3OQzz-lH4PuV-60s
This week, I received a DM from a friend sharing this pic. That’s me getting a haircut, when four of us gay men shared an apartment close to Florida State University campus in late 1980s Tallahassee, Florida. Jeff, in the picture, worked as a hairdresser. So we all received the family discount (i.e., free) on… Continue reading A Zonian Coming Out Story
On my visit to Panamá last year, I got video of Mom hanging out with me while I ate lunch at the house. In this clip, Mom shows me her burping technique when I was a baby. She explains how she wanted to have more children, at least one more, but the doctor warned about… Continue reading A Mother’s Love
How to receive a random act of kindness.
It seems I mark the eras of my life not so much by the years, but by the canine companions I shared time with.
In a couple days, it will be 19 years since Erin and I went on our first date - a Saturday matinee of The Bourne Identity. And 5 years since our hastily-planned state-sanctioned marriage on the south lawn of the Texas Capitol. In the EARLY morning, before heat. On a Wednesday. And with the sprinklers… Continue reading Love is Love – #PaulandErinTLA
Awwww...remembering Ronin, our beloved Great Dane. It’s been about 5 years since we said goodbye to him. But we remember him frequently, through stories told, and random reminders of him and his gentle spirit. Being a dog-lover is a double-edged sword. By definition, their lifespans are shorter than humans so experiencing the pain of their… Continue reading Learning from Dogs
This is Erin with Ronin, our beloved Great Dane who is gone but never forgotten. About 2012. His mouth was big enough to get around a volleyball. We let him keep the ball as a toy. It was a prized possession and Ronin treated it gingerly (our current pack would have ripped it to shreds).… Continue reading Ronin and the Volley of the Dolls
My grandmother, Brigida Adamas Rosas de Quintero, with Mom and Uncle Lucho. In mid-1930s Panama City, República de Panamá. The family lived for awhile on Avenida Central. Brigida was a matriarch, a strong-willed woman from Tolé - in Panama's highland province of Chiriquí (i.e., the boonies). She was from a poor peasant family. Her biological… Continue reading Brigida’s Love Story